Several methods based on single- and two-photon fluorescence detected linear dichroism have recently been used to determine the orientational distributions of fluorescent dyes in lipid membranes. However, these determinations relied on simplified descriptions of non-linear anisotropic properties of the dye molecules, using a transition dipole moment-like vector instead of an absorptivity tensor. To investigate the validity of the vector approximation, we have now carried out a combination of computer simulations and polarization microscopy experiments on two representative fluorescent dyes (DiI and F2N12S) embedded in aqueous phosphatidylcholine bilayers. Our results indicate that a simplified vector-like treatment of the two-photon transition tensor is applicable for molecular geometries sampled in the membrane at ambient conditions. Furthermore, our results allow evaluation of several distinct polarization microscopy techniques. In combination, our results point to a robust and accurate experimental and computational treatment of orientational distributions of DiI, F2N12S and related dyes (including Cy3, Cy5, and others), with implications to monitoring physiologically relevant processes in cellular membranes in a novel way.